Are you lonely in your relationship?
Loneliness is at epidemic levels in our society. “According to a survey published online January 23, 2020 by the health insurer Cigna, more than three in five Americans are lonely, with more and more people reporting feelings of being left out, being poorly understood and lacking companionship. Since 2018 when the survey was first conducted, there has been a nearly 13% rise in loneliness.
Pervasive loneliness has widespread effects and is strongly linked to mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. More and more research suggests that the impacts don't end with mental health, but evidence points to the fact that relationships impact physical health as well.” (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7321652/)
What’s even worse, you can feel lonely in your marriage or relationship. My clients tell me how disconnected they feel from their spouse or romantic partner, which is sometimes especially difficult to understand when there isn’t a lot of conflict or arguments happening between them. Sadly, but this phenomenon is common among many couples. This happens, largely, because partners listen to respond instead of listening to understand. When my clients express their feelings to their partners, they often get criticism, misattunement, dismissal or invalidation in return. When this is a pattern, it leads to emotional and psychological withdrawal, and eventually to dissolution of a relationship.
Common patterns of behavior that lead to loss of connection are, for example, “turning away or against” your partner. Advice giving and problem-solving when listening with empathy and compassion is needed, is another very common reason for shutting down and feeling isolated, unheard, unseen and not valued. Defensiveness is yet another very common behavior that feeds disconnection, hurt and loneliness in marriage.
Unfortunately, many people try to deal with these problems in a way (they best know how) that exacerbates their already existing condition, such as pursuing your partner aggressively, only to see them distance even further.
Cultivating emotional attunement in marriage reverses this painful experience. Learning how to attend to your spouse and partner so you meet them emotionally brings true connection back into the relationship. Emotional attunement can help you stay connected with one another despite your differences. I tech my clients valuable tools that fosters emotional connection. These tools help my clients feel heard, seen and valued, which is arguably one of the most precious things to have.
Contact me today to see how you can experience true connection again.